My New Style for Spring 2k8 [Almost Safe for Work!]

By Mark

General, The Main Event

Recently I upgraded my underwear and shirt collection. The underwear upgrade was entirely necessary since (as unbecoming as this may sound) I have been wearing mostly the same boxers since high school (7 -9 years ago). My trusty Michael Jordan Signature Series Hanes Boxers have done me very well over my days. In fact I tried many times to find a substitute, but it just wasn’t happening. Finally this past week I found a decent replacement to these aging artifacts. This was in due time as those glorious pieces of history were certainly showing some fine aging. I could go on all day about the underwear I threw out (it was like throwing out a piece of my heart!) however, we must move on. And in order to move on, I think it is only fair to share with you my new under-joy! Also I got some new shirts, which I can both wear to work AND wear to whatever it is choose to do with my free time (xbox).

Without further ado, I present to you MARK’S NEW SHIRTS AND UNDERWEAR FASHION SHOW 2k8!!!!!

1. Here you see my awesome new brown and stripes shirt. In addition I am wearing my greyscale polkadot undies. Overall I am thinking “hey, what’s over in the corner of my room!!” In the background you will note my awesome new laundry basket thingy as well as my eeetsy bitsy new computer and my totally nerdy Nine Inch Nails LITHOGRAPH shrine.

2. In this one I have something in my eye. In order to support the eye pain, I am sporting a black and white striped shirt with white and grey/black underwear. Again the background is christened with tiny computronitors, laundry basket thing and Nine Inch Nails album covers.

3. In this one I am having a heart palpitation. In order to subdue my serious medical condition I am sporting a new green shirt with white crosshatching patterns. The look is completed with grey & white crosshatched underwear. In order to help my unfortunate circumstances I have placed my hand on my bum because, hey, why not?

4. I only use one type of tennis ball when I play. That is Prince Tour #1 balls. As you can clearly see in this picture I am entirely focused on my next sweet shot. To intimidate my opponents I am sporting a red and navy Nike fast dry sports shirt. The boxers to accompany this outfit have a festive assortment of patterns which likely all mean something, but all I give a shit about is winning the tennis game. Also, is that computer tiny or what!!

5. Finally after this modeling session I have suffered back pains. If only there was some way to fix my problems. In order to remedy this serious lifelong back pain I am wearing a 2003-2007 Flames home jersey with tie-up and a pair of colored polka dot underwear. Both of these items are specifically designed to prevent back injury.

If you want to copy my style, stop. Don’t even pretend you can pull this shit off!

Mark @ February 26, 2008